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nicklz
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« Reply #1 on: June 07, 2009, 06:41:43 PM » |
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Revised, rewritten, remodeled. I've done more alterations on this than any other piece I've written. I think it's doing what I want it to with some help of some other writers' comments. I hope the storyline is perfectly clear now. I'd like to hear this either mellow metal or medieval minstrel sounding or both.
"Her New Life"
There's a blank face in a portrait Even though the features are clearly there A badly painted picture with a flat, blank stare
Had she wept, suffering when darkness held her tightly Did a smile ever define pallid lips Paralyzed gaze never changing From life to death
Grave after grave lines the hillside Willows and pressed hands carved in stone Short, bearded man's seen them all
Her lifeless body lies before him Like so many others trusted to his hands But her face captures his mind
Melancholy overwhelms him He imagines her voice, her scent Adoring hesitation in his eyes
Even in death she's beautiful Scent of lavender and cedar masks death's scent Glint of silver scalpel in his hands
Oozing new blood from a bottle Glimmering liquid reflects against the wall Once living fluid drained, discarded
As the cold sets in The light is fading through the window Tomorrow he'll begin
Fixed focused vision on his passion Artist, dual-roled, succumbed His easeled canvas prepared beside her
Much to his frustration, His brush takes a mind of its own, And creates another soul
Unable to enliven her features Palette a blur of muddied colors The turpentine burns his nose
No inclination of emotion Not even pain eluded to A flat, blank nothing is what the artist drew
No light reflected from her eyes No hate or fear or calm Still he can't lose her He tries to give her new life But all she has to give Is a blank faced picture
As the cold sets in The light is fading through the window Tomorrow he'll begin
She's cushioned in floral slumber The nails are driven in To the hillside he takes her
Not a sound from the world As he lonely fills her grave
As the cold sets in The light is fading through the window On a blank face in a portrait Even though the features are clearly there Standing in the corner A badly painted picture with a flat, blank stare
BJH 5/10/2009 -6/3/2009 -6/7/2009
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